Just Living My Life

The start of something beautiful

2011-07-21T15:13:00.000-06:00

I know its been forever since I have written but today felt like the perfect day to write:) the picture above was taken on the 4th of July. My boyfriend of 5 months Paul was sitting on my lap and his oldest son Xander (just turned 6 today!) sat on his lap so we grabbed the baby Zavier (1 year old) for this beautiful photo op :) I love them all so much and each day I am so grateful for the life I have. I read over a few of my old posts and most make me laugh just to see the things I was so focused on in those points of my life.
I have finally graduated hair school, got a job the day I finished my hours! Now working at a salon called Remedez in the Orem mall. I love doing hair but am still adjusting to the salon itself. I feel like I was spoiled with all the remodels and upgrades at my school.
I dont know if anyone even reads this blog anymore, but if so, I guess I should tell you the story of Paul and I :)
Back in January shortly after a pretty crappy break up, I was fed up with dating but at the same time, knew there was someone out there for me somewhere. I decided to try out a few dating websites, I had quiet the experince with that lol. had a lot of random conversations, and through it all kept seeing this guys profile, he only had one picture up and it was one that i couldnt really see his face. experience had taught me to not even go there since there was more likely than not... something they were hiding.
I finally decided to write him and our conversations carried on easily from there. In Feb we decided to meet. He came to my school one night to bring me a soda and from first sight I knew there was something in him. He was familiar to me, I just wanted to be close to him. We were both very nervous and he only stayed for a short while. As he left I walked him to the door and once he stepped outside, I waited before I headed back and something happened, he turned around and came back. I opened the door to see what he was doing and he asked if he could take me out sometime. Of course I said yes! :) A couple of the girls at school were cautious and wasnt sure if seeing him would be the best idea but I knew in my heart that he had something in him that was calling to me. Our first date was amazing, Feb 18th we went out for sushi and bowling, again we were both nervous but conversation was easy. While bowling I couldn't get enough of him. I barely paid attention to the game, I just wanted to talk to him or sit close to him. Oddly enough he thought he was "striking out" no pun intended ;) haha and I still to this day am not sure why he thought that, I kept leaning in closer to him while talking yet he kept sitting one chair away from me. When we walked back to his car to head to my house I wanted so badly to hold his hand but I was waiting for him to make the first move... he didnt. We ended up going to my house to watch a movie before the end of the night and by that point, it was needless to say we watched any part of the movie at all. Our first kiss was amazing and so was the one afer that and after that ;) in less than 2 weeks I knew I was in love. But wasnt sure how it was possible. We both have been married before and we both swore the next relationship we got into would be taken very slow. But almost exactly 2 weeks after our first date we told each other that we loved each other. It was only 2 months later when I had to move out of the place I was living due to contract issues. We decided then to move into a house together. We live a few blocks away from his family which I love. They have all been so great to me. There is so much more to this story but the main part is,
Its been so amazing having Paul and his boys in my life I love them so much and I am in such gratitude to stand where I do today and have the love and support of a family.
My life is changing all for the best and I couldnt be more happy! :D

Gettin Back on Track

2011-02-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is because its a new month, or maybe the fact that I got a lot of things off my chest these past few weeks, whatever it is, I feel a renewed sense of life coming about. I know my last post was pretty much a downer- not going to lie- I was really hurt. But the one true miracle about pain is it truly makes us stronger and better people. I have realized what things really don't matter as much to me as I "thought" they did.
I am also in complete gratitude for a few people in my life that are constantly teaching me lessons and opening my eyes to a new view point on things.
I have reached a point where I am over my break up, which is crazy since it really has only been a week since the split, but a lot has happened this past week, not to mention the fact that I am pretty much incapable of holding a grudge- which I am not complaining about. I decided if anyone was going to make me happy in life- it was going to be ME. I can't change the actions, words, or thoughts of others, but what I can change are my own as well as my reaction to others actions. I had a feeling to call my ex just to see how he is doing as well as let him know I am doing ok now...the second I went to my contacts and pressed dial- his picture popped up and my heart sunk...deep breath... secretly hoping for his voicemail to kick in but knocking that thought out of my head since that is a chicken exit out of the situation... however a few short rings later and I got his voicemail. Which by the way is a message he created while in a super happy mood and he tells everyone to have a great day because you deserve it. Listening to his attitude on the phone made me miss talking to him every day.....but anyway... :) I left him a message (voice shaking the whole time) and told him that no matter what, I am just grateful for what I have learned from him and that I truly do love him and his family dearly and do not ever want to lose them so I asked if we could just be friends since I really do feel I am in a good enough place now that I could see him as just a friend and be ok...
He didn't respond until the next night and he text me telling me that he would love it if we could be friends...so....friends it is.
On another note :) I went home this past weekend to spend time with the fam, which usually consist of nothing more than me doing hair from sun up till sun down, but its a great thing its my passion :) I enjoyed being able to be there for my family and give them something that makes them feel beautiful. - I am going to be better at taking pictures after I do someones hair I can start showcasing my work...I usually just forget lol

Saturday night after getting everyones hair done with the exception of my nieces extensions, I went out with my mom and her bf Doug to Mesquiet to watch a comedy show and go dancing. My moms always hated stand up comics so I found it interesting she wanted to go, we ended up having such a great time, all 3 of the performers were awesome. :) After the show we headed out to the dance floor where the band was playing 80's music- which don't get me wrong, I love 80's music... but to dance to??? It was a little interesting at first and we considered leaving and heading to the Virgin River for country dancing, however I am more than grateful we didn't leave. We ended up having so much fun dancing and towards the end of the night I ended up hanging out w this guy who turned out to be an A-MAZING dancer and singer, he is a musician--seriously scored huge bonus points being able to sing and dance ;) and the fact that he is really good looking didn't hurt either ;) It was getting late and I really did not want to leave by that point...and he didn't want me to leave either- even though in just a few short hours he was supposed to be getting up to go golfing- he and his buddies were out there for a tournament that weekend. He was seriously the sweetest guy ever and kept telling me I couldn't leave him, he even offered to buy me my own room so I know I'd be safe if I just stayed a little longer with him. As much of a good time as that would have been, I knew I had to leave...so I did. :(
But meeting him has definitely took my mind off of a few things and whats even better is he lives in Ogden, I wish he lived out here closer to me, but still I am grateful that its not too far away. He asked me to come to one of his concerts, which I seriously can't wait for! :) He has his solo stuff online, you can check him out at www.prestoncreed.com and see for yourself how amazingly talented he is ;)

I was also treated to a very nice dinner date on Sunday with a guy I've known for over a year now. Things went well...I am not sure that will go anywhere but it felt great to be pampered by a guy for once! I got flowers, he cooked all the dinner, we watched a movie while giving me a foot rub... what more could ya ask for? haha I guess a connection would make things more perfect. But what can ya do? Can't win em all right?

School got a little crazy the other night, a lot of emotions were stirred up and a lot of venting occurred. It was the first time in over a year of being at that school that I expressed how crappy things had been going. Usually I do my best to look at the bright side of everything but I just wasn't happy at all the way things went that night.... luckily we have been blessed with two of the most amazing educators ever!!! They sat down with us for 4 hours until we got everything off our chest, the energy in the room was intense!!!! One girl in my class is so sweet, she couldn't stand to see everyone act like that so she got up to get us all ice cream. There are some things girls just gotta have when they are down ;) haha
last night I decided to treat everyone to soda and candy in order to make them have a good night. It turned out a lot of people were having crazy days yesterday too so candy and soda hit the spot.

I am just realizing how simple it is to make or break someones day. I definitely want to be committed in being a day maker. Life really is too short to let all the small stuff get to me. Even though I know its easier to say that do at times, but I am making a commitment to myself to be the best me I can be. To make these last few months of school the best months ever, I really am going to miss all the girls there. They have become more family than friends. I also realize how much time I have spent separating myself from them because I felt like if I stuck to myself, I wouldn't have to get involved in the drama that everyone else is going through. I see now that was a pretty selfish way to go about things, I want to be there for them- the way they have been there for me.
Anyway, I am sure I rambled on in this post, but I just have had so many great things happen that I wanted to share. Things are only going up from here!
PS Thanks for all your love and support!

Private Life

2011-01-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so after I took my blog private I lost a lot of feed... pretty much all my readers stopped reading, that combined with the complete neglect to post anything at all lately has made this blog pretty lame.
I have decided to not be private anymore, nothing on here that I am trying to hide anyway...
Today I am doing a lot of thinking...which I know can be dangerous sometimes, the mind is a pretty crazy place.

I don't really feel like there are too many people out here that I can really talk to to get things off my chest so I am just going to be completely open on here... if you are reading this and get tired of what I am saying- don't read it. Its mostly for me to release the built up frustration and sadness I have been holding on to for some time.

With that said, I decided this year was going to be completely different. This is my year for opportunity, success, happiness, love...etc. Last November I started seeing someone that I have been friends with for over a year, things were really amazing with him, he told me so many things that just made me so happy and also amazed that for the past year he had these strong feelings for me- yet I was completely oblivious to them. The first night we hung out in November was also the night we had our first kiss, full of so much passion that the sparks were flying insanely. Both of us had to stop to catch our breath, finally a kiss that really was breath taking, you always see things on movies that all make us say "I want that!" "is that really real?" "Can love really make you weak in the knees?" The answer is, yes, it is very real, and to have that is incredible. I felt like one of the luckiest people on this Earth, to have such a strong connection that makes my body tremble with a simple kiss, to have butterflies dance in circles through out my stomach, to make my head feel light as air, feeling like everything is a dream, but opening my eyes to find its not a dream, it is reality. Kiss after kiss was the same, fireworks, butterflies....pure intense passion.
Holding his hand made me feel complete, gazing into his eyes made me feel like a little girl with a crush, and knowing that he was all mine was the icing on the cake.
He told me he loved me only weeks after our first date (on the phone), I didn't say it back at the time cause I really wasn't sure if he was saying it like... I REALLY LOVE LOVE you, or just saying, I love you, like I love my friends. Since we have known each other for a while we had said I love you- as friends.
I felt like I was in an interesting situation, I knew I was falling in love but wasn't sure if I should say it in case he wasnt meaning it like that. anyway, a few weeks later he said it to me in person and I knew he was saying he was in love with me, the second I said it back, the butterflies began to dance again.
Life felt perfect. Things were a little interesting though since he lives in SLC with out a car at the moment and I live in Orem with a full time job and part time school. I am gone from sun up to sun down during the week so we only had weekends to be together. On the plus side, it made us not take our time for granted. He works retail though so some weekends he would have to work, he is also a part of several committees so he has meetings galore that he gets to go to during the weekends. The past month I had been spending more and more of the weekends with his family while he went to his events. I would sometimes go with him but some of the meetings were honestly really boring since I had absolutely NOTHING to do with them...but I wanted to be there to support him. I even offered to start attending a sister group to one of his that was established for family/friends of people in the other group. His mom and I have an amazing relationship, actually I love everyone in his family. There were a few times where he would be a complete butt head and just not think about what he was doing and his entire family would stand up for me. They are seriously so amazing and I am in complete gratitude for all their love and support.
The other night I asked him to come talk to me though, I had a lot on my mind that I didn't want to talk on the phone about and I knew I'd drive myself crazy if I didn't talk to him about it before the weekend. He was super scared that I was breaking up with him or telling him some awful news or something. When in all reality I just had some stuff that I was feeling insecure about and after we talked about it he said he was relieved- not to make light of my concerns but he was thinking the worst. We talked for a while and made several re-committments to each other and things seemed great. Shortly after he mentioned how he doesnt allow himself to have the things he wants in life. I asked him what he wants and he listed off a few things like a working relationship, etc. so I said- the most important question I have to ask you is....do you want to be with me?.........................nothing...............
complete silence
tears began to fall as I told him that his silence spoke volumes, he said it really did and that he hadnt realized it until then that he didnt want to even be with me anymore.
He then asked me if I wanted him to leave and I just didnt.... how could he feel like this now? Its only been a few months since our lives together was nothing but pure passion and real love. Last weekend was a little hard since we really didnt see each other at all- even though I was at his house...he wasnt there with me...
even when he came to talk to me, things were weird cause he didnt give me a hug or kiss when he got to my house- I figured it was just since he was stressing out that it was over. But the last kiss we had still had the sparks, still took our breath away... we both always talked about how amazing it was when we were together. and now.... it was completely gone. Where exactly did it go to???? How did I not see it leave???
Somehow things changed, whether it was his head or his heart that changed... I honestly dont know. I want to believe it was just his head that changed and his heart still feels the same, that he just got scared... something...anything besides it being over.
But the truth is... it is over. I am hurt, sad, alone....you name it.
I have never been like this over a guy before, I realized the way I felt when I was going through my divorce was even completely different than the way I feel now. I knew things with my ex husband and I were fading away, even though we tried hanging on- we both knew things were just gone that were there before. Maybe that made it easier for me to fall, I knew it was coming. And this completely blind sided me. What makes it worse is that I havent just lost the man I love, I lost the family that I love as well. Every Sunday we'd have dinner at his grandparents, I'd usually hang out with his grandpa in his office for hours listening to old music and talking about life. Last Sunday his grandma and I put together a whole puzzle then played the Wii for an hour! It was so much fun! That morning we had a group of people at the house that could play guitar so we had 4 of us with acoustic guitars, an electric guitar, a mandolin and an electric harp. We recorded several videos of all of us singing and playing. It was the most fun I had had in a LONG time. His family felt like my family. I love them deeply and hate that I have lost them.
His mom keeps in touch with me and tells me how much she loves me and things will work out. But just as I told him the night he left, I deserve better than that, I deserve to have someone want to be with me just as much as I want to be with them.
There is more to that story and the way I feel.... but on top of all that, I have had my car for close to 10 years now, yes 10 years I cant even believe that lol, I love my car, I was so determined to buy it as soon as I could in high school that I even paid $300 car payment and $300 insurance just so I could have my baby.
My mom and I are the only ones who have ever owned her and I must say for being a 99, traveling cross country 3 times, and going through the neglect of this past year....she is starting to have some boo boos.
One right now seems to be the passenger door, seeing how it is below freezing here almost daily the doors sometimes get iced over and dont like to open right away, I figured thats just what was happening at first but on a sunny day, it wasnt opening unless I opened it from the inside it just wouldnt work. Then the other night at school, I got it to open to get my bag out, but then.... new issue, it wouldnt shut!!!! it was 830 at night, freezing outside, I forgot my gloves that day and I am sitting on the dark, nasty oil and trash covered parking lot at my school all alone, trying to jam a key or screwdriver into my door to make it close... no luck. My educator came out to see if she could assist me at all but there was nothing we could do, I searched the school for tools to disassemble my door. Somehow I got the door off and LUCKILY got the door to close, however I am sure it is just a temporary fix so I have left it in pieces until I can go to St George this weekend so my brother can fix it for me. It makes me sad that my car is falling apart, it looks so ghetto right now and makes me depressed. I also realized that night how absolutely ALONE I am out here. My boyfriend at the time was 50 miles away and didnt have a car to come save me...all my family members are at least 4 hours away, the only person I could think to call to help was my ex boyfriend who is now dating the girl he cheated on me with last year.... I did end up calling him though cause I was in need of serious help, I couldnt drive my car until I could close the door. He didnt answer, turns out he was at the gym. I was super lucky that I got it to close by myself. But I havent felt so alone for such a long time.
There are alot of other stressers in my life at the moment too with wanting to quit my job so I can go to school full time, but I love what I do and I love making money. I dont want to lose this job, my insurance, paycheck. But I also just really want to get done with school so I can move away.
I have had a history with just running away from my problems, this time around school is forcing me to stay put and fight through issues, which I am grateful for, I am learning a lot of life lessons. But I seriously need a break.... I feel like I just cant do this anymore.

The time is NOW. New years resolution jump start

2010-12-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

So today I got to do an assessment to see how healthy I am at this point in my life. Thankfully I am in a "good" place in my life. However there are some areas that deserve to be improved. Some I don't really have the power to change, like getting more sleep. But I realize that I get to make some changes like working out and making healthy eating choices. I got really sick a couple weeks ago and decided that soda just really didn't sound good. So I haven't even been tempted to drink a soda for almost 2 weeks now. Pretty sweet huh :) I feel a lot better not drinking it too so it is something I am committed to stick to :D

I have also ordered some healthier options for groceries- side note, I get my groceries delivered to my home now. haha sounds lazy but there are great benefits to it, I am not tempted to go down the ice cream or sweets isle, it saves whatever extra time I might have in my crazy life to spend doing other things :) and I actually save money by just buying the basics. But like I said, I have changed my order and have gotten some pretty healthy items on their way now :)
I have decided that after I get out of school at night I will go to the gym at least for an hour. I get out of school at 10pm so its pretty late for a workout but late is better than never right? I have really been into yoga lately and luckily we get to do it at my school on Monday nights, I'd really love to find a class to join daily, maybe when I figure out a better way to balance school and work I will be able to find a class somewhere :)

Also, with these changes I know I get to be easy on myself. I am taking baby steps until I am able to push myself further. By blogging it, I am making a declaration to you and to me that I am committed to do this.
I am committed to go the distance! :D

Fall Photo Shoot by Apryl May Photography

2010-11-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

So here are some pics from the photo shoot I did with Apryl last weekend. These are small quality since I just copied them from her website to edit them myself. She is going to do some editing for me, but I was a little impatient haha. But here they are! :D tell me what ya think. I was going for a vintage look :D

Forgotten Blog

2010-11-19T12:17:00.001-07:00

Ok, so forever ago I started a blog of just photos I have either taken or others that I have edited. I am going to do my best to use it again! haha since I havent done a post of my sisters wedding on here yet you can check it out at my other blog here
:) enjoy!

My Yellow Butterfly

2010-11-13T22:07:00.001-07:00

This is my newest piece of art. Yellow butterfly which has so much meaning to me, the butterfly itsself means beauty and transformation, the color yellow means emotions, it has so much symbolism of my life this past year from the experiences I've gone through. They have all made me so strong and was able to pull out the beauty within me.

My photo shoot with my niece Jordan

2010-11-02T13:56:00.001-06:00

So my niece Jordan is about to graduate high school this coming year. SO crazy! We took her out to this really cool park with old trains and little shops while we were in TN. I have a TON more pics but I have to get them off my sisters computer before I can get them posted. But here are a few of my favorite shots. Let me know what ya think. I was really happy with the way they turned out since my camera is really not the greatest usually..

A very disheartening sight

2010-10-05T08:35:00.000-06:00

SNOW!!! BLAHHHHHHHHHH
on my way to work this morning I caught glimse of the unfortunate reality that is soon to come to pass..snow is coming, which means winter is almost here, which means icy roads full of people who don't know how to drive in snow, which means accidents galore and freezing temperatures where we are forced to bundle ourselves up in as many warm fuzzy layers we can possibly find. Ok Ok I know that just because I saw a little bit of snow doesn't mean its the end of the world. But it does mean that summer is definitely over, and unfortunately- as usual Utah is about to speed through the best parts of the year- FALL :) now Fall, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE!
I dont mind fuzzy sweaters or cute warm boots, its when they become soping wet from trailing through snow that I start to dislike them. I guess the only thing to do now is enjoy every ounce of warm sunshine we have left. Hopefully this next winter will not last up until June like last year!

Trains, Trolleys, Phone Booths, Castles, Big Ben, Best friends

2010-10-04T12:36:00.000-06:00

What do all of these have in common you may ask? :)

Well, one of my besties from Cali has mentioned the idea a few times of after us both graduating, for us to take a move together across the pond. You know..the BIG POND and end up in the UK Kent London to be exact. I have often thought about how cool it would be to visit London, but never gave too much thought to moving there- other than when Keena and I would talk about it. Well, this morning we discussed it a little more and I am really playing around with the idea. It wouldnt be until after next summer, but honestly..when would I get this opportunity again? Unless I end up marrying a man from the UK haha. Anyway, just thought I'd mention the idea :) We shall see, a lot of things could happen from now until then, but if anything, I say a trip to London is in order if not a move :)

Sneeky Hate Sprial-- ever feel like this? I do!

2010-09-29T10:13:00.000-06:00

For whatever reason the past two days have not been fun at all. Everything seems to be an annoyance and I am just tired. I know I have to make some new choices in order for my life to be happier and the way I want it to be.. but there are just some times when I feel like throwing my arms in the air..maybe even throwing a temper tantrum! I am sure my raging hormones are not helping me out with this situation this week.. but still. I came across this blog today and though the story is a little more dramatic as well as completely different situations- the concept is the same.

Sneaky Hate Spiral

Most of the time, I'm pretty even-tempered. Aside from the odd nervous breakdown or caffeine-induced bliss-seizure, I have the emotional variation of sand. However, every once in a great while, I'll lapse into what I like to call a "sneaky hate spiral."

The buildup:

Sneaky hate spirals begin simply enough. In fact, that is one of the hallmarks of sneaky hate spirals - they are merely the confluence of many unremarkable annoyances.

Your day begins poorly.

Before you've had a chance to recover from your unpleasant awakening, you are pummeled by a series of unfortunate events. There are probably some loud and/or persistent sounds mixed in there, too.

The little frustrations start to happen more quickly. They ping against your psyche like hundreds of tiny pebbles.

Eventually, the sum of the small annoyances begins to exceed your capacity for patience and rational thought. All it would take to send you over the edge into a bottomless pit of angry hysteria is just one more tiny, little thing...

The turning point:

The turning point is usually a minor but slightly jarring incident, initiated by some force of nature that cannot be blamed or scolded - like gravity or sleeplessness or wind. That last specification is very important. In order to send you into truly batshit crazy hysterics, the final straw must cause anger that cannot rationally be directed outward in any way.

Your worn patience plus the inability to blame anything for your misery causes a chain reaction to take place inside of you.

The rage enters your body, but cannot exit through either the blame or personal responsibility pathways. It therefore must travel to the very center of you where it will fester and eventually rupture.

Chaos:

When enough anger and hatred has accumulated inside of you, it will rupture through your pathetic sense of integrity and start spewing outwardly as if you are some sort of rage sprinkler, spraying your putrid hate all over anything that comes near you.

You are officially out of control. At this late stage, there is no way around it. You are simply a helpless passenger in your psychotic war-machine of a body.

This girl is pretty creative with her story telling, she has several blog posts about things like spiders or wisdom teeth.. lol random but funny. you can check em out yourself if you go here

Girls night out!

2010-09-28T12:42:00.000-06:00

Last weekend I decided that it was about time to get my butt out of the house and enjoy my life a little more! My neice Faliesha and I decided that we for sure got to hang out so I told her I would take her out to dinner to celebrate her be lated birthday since I didnt get to see her on her b day. And to make things more fun I told her we were going to dress up super cute!!! :) I also told my friend Jewels that no matter what she had planned she was going to drop it and bring her cute little daughter Madi out with myself, Faliesha and Felshs daughter Olivia :) Well, there were no accidents that the place I chose to have our dinner was the exact same building that Jewels would be attending a friends wedding around the same time! So she would be all dressed up too and then just head to the wedding for a bit then come out with us! Everything was going PERFECT! :)
So Saturday I headed over to Felshs house and we proceeded to get ready for our adventure. I let her wear some of my clothes and she did her hair all cute and I brought her a super cute red head band to go along with the dress :) here we are getting ready to leave the house

isnt Liv a doll!!! :D I cant believe how big she has gotten already!

When we got to the restaurant (The Gardens on the 10th floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Bldg in downtown SLC) We decided there was going to be no holding back when it came to ordering. We started things off with sparkling apple cider and water :)

Cheers! :D PS Look at that view!

the temple was literally right behind me!

I noticed the menu outside said they had Fried Pickles for an appetizer, seriously if you never have tried them, that should be on your to-do list! They are sooooo good! I fell in love with them when I lived in Idaho and later when I moved to Mississippi you could find them at almost any place to eat! :) SOOO GOOD!

They are the best dipped in fry sauce! Seriously..TRUST ME on this one :D
We also got artichoke dip that was soooooo amazing as well! :)

I love how pretty they make them too! :D haha

During our appetizers we found out that Jewels actually missed the wedding so she would be joining us for dinner YAY! :D
She brought Madi and Tanner!!! :D they are sooo adorable I freakin love them

Cheers again, kinda hard to get us all in the pic haha

I was so excited to have Jewels and the kids join us that I completly neglected to take a picture of my amazing Salmon dinner...that and I was super excited to devour it! :) so no pic of that- just know- IT WAS AMAZING!

After dinner I knew we HAD to get dessert! haha look at how cute this pic is of Tanner, he was so excited for that part!!!

He was so worried the guy wasnt going to be bringing the treats back to the table...but... HE DID! :D

This one was mine

Yummy Chocolate Cinnamon Cake and Cinnamon Ice cream!

SO GOOD!

Faliesha ordered a German Chocolate Brownie and Chocolate Cake

I didnt get a pic of Jewels and I dont remember what hers was exactly, it was some kind of raspberry cake but it was soooo amazing as well!

I love her!!! <3

All of us together, Tan was not paying attention lol

One of my favorite parts of the night was playing peek a boo with the tan man in his stroller, isnt this the most adorable cheesey smile any kid could possibly have?! I seriously LOVE it! and Love him!!

We walked around the temple afterwards and I took so many pictures but I dont have much time for all the posting on here..but you can see them on my facebook.

But I definetly LOVED treating myself to anything on the menu as well as treating Felsh, :) I know that it gets to be something I do a whole lot more from now on!

Stuck like glue

2010-09-23T08:13:00.000-06:00

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this song every time I hear it, it makes me super happy!!!
:) Sugarland is amazing and this video makes me smile every time it comes on. I turn on my tv to CMT every morning while getting ready and I sit there and wait for them to play this! :D This morning it never came on though so I had to find it at work and most video websites are blocked here but luckily for me I found one that worked! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! :D

Miss USA?

2010-09-20T10:52:00.000-06:00

What does Miss USA have to do with this post?

Not much actually I just found this quote this morning that I absolutely LOVED and it made me wish a contestant in one of the beauty pageants one day would come up with this answer for the question of what they would wish for- Instead of just saying "World Peace"

If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.

chinese philospher - lao-tse - 6th century bce

I don't think too many people realize how we can create peace right here right now no matter what our lives look like. Peace starts with having Love in ones heart, and with that love your light can shine brightly and touch the lives of millions. You never know what one good deed will do for this world.

Why is it???

2010-09-17T11:23:00.000-06:00

Ok women, answer me this, why is it that if we spend HOURS getting ready in the morning and "try" to look like this...

To no avail do we even get one compliment???
After all, that was the whole purpose in spending that much time layering on the make up and putting on the super chic outfits to impress everyone on our "Look how hot I am" attire

BUT

those days we are running late, just dont really give a care, or super lazy moods, we put on the first thing that we can grasp from our closet, MAYBE brush our hair or put on the slightest bit- if any at all makeup.. and look something like this..

people give us the most compliments???

This was something I was pondering after a brief run in with a girl I work with in the break room.
I think she is so adorable, has super cute hair and way cute clothes. There are a few women in my building that are very well dressed and presentable women :) I am not sure why- but I feel like most women dress to impress other girls..kind of like saying "Look at me, you wish you looked like this dont you?!"
crazy right?!..but I really feel there is truth to that statement.

Anyway, this morning I actually woke up an hour early and as I layed in my bed, I contemplated getting up and taking some time to look extra cute today and maybe even get a little extra time in at work- THEN my sleepiness set in and over weighed any thought of putting effort into the way I look today-after all- its Friday..I dont have school after this, I get to just go home after work. So I took a little more time to snooze away...unfortunately for me, instead of waking up on time to my alarm...I slept through it! Sooooo
now-there really was no time to get dressed. I woke up, brushed my teeth splashed some water on the mess of a hair do I had since its growing out- its a little uncontrollable when I wake up, anyway I threw on an outfit that sounded cute in my head...

once I threw it on I realized it wasnt going to work..so I changed my undershirt a couple of times in a last ditch effort to look presentable..and was out of time so I realized no matter what- it would have to do.

I just went to the break room to get my daily dose of caffeine and a very unhealthy bag of cookies for breakfast and as I walked in I noticed the girl I mentioned above..I put my head down and pulled the jacket around me a little tighter that I just happened to leave at work the day before and I wanted to hide.. I didnt feel cute and I didnt want her to see what I was wearing. Lol (really...why does it even matter????)
anyway, she stopped me and looked at my outfit and had a huge smile on her face telling me that I always look so adorable when I come to work. I shyly thanked her and walked away.

I know some people say those things to make you feel better when they realize you really do look like crap. But oh well, I am going to take it as she was being genuine.

So, my message to all of you today is this.

In all reality, clothes, make up and shoes really dont make a person, we are all very special and unique in our own ways :) there is not one person in this entire world that is exactly like you, so even if you dont feel special or unique remember- you are the only YOU in this world!

and that makes you incredibly amazing!!!
A persons beauty should be reflected by their heart and words rather than their appearance. :D

My Dream Salon

2010-09-15T10:39:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I have a school project that I am working on right now where I am creating my dream salon :) At first I wasnt sure how fun this was going to be, but I'll tell ya.. :D now that I have gotten a few ideas together, I am excited to figure out a way to lay them out and transform ideas into a perfect salon for me :)
I dont have too much together for it right now. But the name I came up with for it is Asay Creations Studio, here are a few pics of inspirations for it. I want it to be a very calm and relaxing environment with plenty of recycled products in order to have an Earth friendly salon :) let me know what you think

Here is my logo/ Buisness card

things that have inspired me :D

How amazing of an entrance would this be?!!! I would want it to be movable though, so that little strip along the floor could be a run way for my salon to put on fashion shows right there in the salon! :) so my idea is to have it made out of fabric and maybe something like pvc pipe-but not ghetto looking lol and have them on some kind of sliding rails on the sealing and floor so you can just slide it back against the far wall and it would turn into a great backdrop for the models to come out on the cat walk :D pretty cool right?

the color scheme I want are sea blue, slate blue, grey, white/beige, bamboo, and green.

thats what I got so far. Like? yes or no?

On This Day

2010-09-09T09:36:00.000-06:00

I found this site that I think is pretty cool :) It is all about daily inspiration- which is great :D if you go there, scroll to the bottom of the page and click a card :) that card will give you your daily focus. The card I got was gratitude. So...

On this day, I will be:

gratitude

I really loved this so I figured I'd pass it on. Not much has been going on in my life lately. I was super lucky to have Monday and Wed off of school. It was a good break for sure, plus I was able to come home and talk to Jeff for a little bit via webcam. I find it really interesting how I can feel this way for someone I have yet to even meet in person. But I will be honest.. Im pretty crazy about him and I am ready for it to be November so I can finally spend some time with him! I dont think I have ever looked forward to November so much- if ever. Though I love Thanksgiving.. I am not a winter person- still wondering what the heck I am living in Northern Utah for exactly haha. I am really hoping I can work something out so I can attend school more and get it over with! I am ready to start working in my profession rather than pulling these 60 hour weeks...Its a little exhausting :P ok.. maybe A LOT exhausting. But I am hanging in there. This weekend was great for catching up on sleep! The great news is...this week is almost over now! I honestly would not mind taking 2 days off a week just to recoop all the time.

hope all is well for everyone. Sending my love your way ;)

Hair Battle Spectacular

2010-09-03T20:02:00.001-06:00

Ok so I found a show that is on when I am actually at home and can take a min to watch tv. Hair Battle Spectacular is A M A Z I N G!!!! I mean, some of the stuff they come up with- I can only hope I will be able to pull off the styles they do. I dont really know where I want to take my hair career but I've always loved the idea of runway- ever since watching this show though- fantasy hair could be pretty sweet. Check out this modern Vampire look one of the contestants on the show came up with, her cape was made entirely out of hair! LOVE it!!

On a side note. I get to stay home this holiday weekend and FINALLY do nothing but relax! Actually thats not necessarily true. I am going up to Eagle Mountain tomorrow to help my neice Faliesha move into their new place. But hopefully I will be able to come home and relax by the pool a little bit.

Jeff got to go to Spain for the weekend..Im really wishin I could be going there with him! Haha, I would not complain at all!

I mean- LOOK how beautiful that is!!!

He gets to relax by the beach all weekend.. Im so jealous!

My mom even plans on going to San Diego.. if I could go with her I would be completly happy too!

oh well :D my weekend will still be great

More Personal

2010-09-02T11:54:00.002-06:00

So, lately whenever I post anything it doesn't really have much to do with my life. I have really been wanting to be inspiring with my blog and post things that will be uplifting to others that read it- which I still plan on doing. But I figured that the majority- if not all of you that follow my blog- never really see me in person, and we rarely talk so there really isnt any way for you to know whats been going on in my life. So I plan on posting things that are actually happening to me so you can get a little look into the Life of Erica. Which can actually be pretty interesting at times ;) haha
so to start off.. I am going to tell you what my life is all about right now.
I am currently working for an Internet Marketing company, where I plan Corporate events. I used to come to work at 7 and leave at 3 but lately I have been way too lazy to get up that early so instead I come anywhere from 730-8am and I leave around 4pm. Right after I get off work, I head straight to school (Aveda Institute of Provo Hair Academy) and I am there till 10pm(ish). I absolutely love going to school- however working full time and heading straight to school gets very tiring, so I am ready to figure out something else. I would love to go to school full time but I have to work out my finances first..

So that is my day in and day out routine. On a little more personal level. Nate and my divorce was final in April. I recently got news that he is remarrying soon. I have to send him my letter of approval for him to be sealed to his new wife- which in all honesty I am not really excited to do. A lot of my family and friends are stull upset with the divorce and say I just shouldn't write him the letter- however I know that will cause them a lot of pain and greif and since I have moved on with my life- there is no reason for me to hold him back from his happiness. I hold no grudge towards him and honestly wish him the best- do I wish we could just have our sealing canceled instead of just letting him marry again- YES... however I don't have any say in that so I guess I just wait until I can finally get that done one day..

Since I work and go to school so much I really havent been doing anything or going anywhere to meet anyone so I played around with a few internet dating websites. Met a few cool people. Had a couple good dates..but didnt find anyone I was extactic about. That was until Jeff....

:) Jeff is a 26 year old, 6'2, native american/caucasion, amazing man who is serving in the Army right now and is stationed out in Germany. He sent me a message on OKcupid.com and I guess the website actually told him that I may not respond to his email because "he was not the type of guy I was interested in" funny that a computer knows better than me what I am interested in just because of a couple boxes I clicked when setting up my profile... Anyway, he went with his better judgement and wrote me. Well guess what- I could not be more happy that he did! He has been so amazing and is the reason I wake up and go to sleep with a huge grin on my face. We definitely have a ton of differnces in our personalities which I absolutely love. I am not looking for a clone of myself.. that would be pretty boring! He is going to come home (Magna, UT) in November. November 6th to be exact ;) and you better believe that I have a countdown going until the day I get to meet him in person. I bought a webcam so we can actually see each other when we talk. Side note- when we first were messaging each other he had a webcam so I could see him and we could talk to each other but he couldnt see me- so I decided to be nice and let him see me too. haha
anyway we talk everyday. He is 8 hours ahead of me so when I am at work he is hanging out in his room talking to me until 1am his time- when I am finally off work. On the weekends I get to webcam with him, he has the most amazing smile (which the Army has forced him to hide for way too long)
Luckily he will be completely done with the Army next March! Then he will come back to UT and go to school. :D I cant say that things will for sure work out for us. But it is great fun for right now at least.
He has recently gone through an enngagement that broke off and he tells me I pulled him out of a huge self destructing rut. Which I could not be more happy for. I do not ever want to know he is in pain..so if I can be the reason he smile- I am ok with that :D He has definitely changed my life as well. Life was getting so repeditive and I was getting really lonely wondering if I was ever going to meet a great guy.
Once he goes back in November, he has to go to Afganastan! :( Which I am soooo not happy about. He made me promise him I will not read or watch the news at all while he is there. I am pretty sure I would drive myself insane if I did. I am not much of a news person anyway but if I had to see or hear about what he is going through I think I'd go crazy worring so much!!!!! GOOD NEWS is he will only be there for a few months then he gets to come home!
I will keep you posted on what happens :) for now here are a couple pics of him. He doesnt have a camera so all of his photos are from his friends snapping pics. And there arent any that really show his face very well, but trust me- he is hott! ;) His smile drives me crazy!!!!! :D

That guy standing next to him is 5'10... I am 5'6 lol it will be interesting to see how tiny I look compared to him! haha but hey- at least I can wear high heels around him right! :) I hate when guys are shorter than me so I have to wear flats all the time. That will DEFINITELY not be the case here :D

New Do

2010-08-27T08:39:00.000-06:00

I am tired of having my super short hair so for fun I had my friend Micki put extensions in my hair to see if they would even work. We only did the glue in ones so they wont last too long unfortunately but at least now I know what they will look like and that they actually blend really well with the length my hair is right now.
Its kinda funny cause they way my hair is right now is how is normally is when I have it longer. But it feels so good to be back to somewhat normal. My short hair was really fun for a while. I am glad I did it cause before I never thought I'd have the guts to chop it so short. So now I know what it looks like short- but now its time for me to let it grow. Anyway here are some pics. I need to do an update post- that or just stay on top of things lol

But for the most part my lifes pretty repeditive. Go to work all day- go to school all night :P lol its all good though, I am almost half way done with school. One more year to go. I am going to try going to school more though so I can actually get done before a year. We will see what happens.

Our Deepest Fear...

2010-08-03T08:52:00.002-06:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Your are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

http://www.bannerboutique.blogspot.com/

2010-07-22T15:33:00.003-06:00

Ok I know these are for little girls but I really really want one! They are so super cute. I just dont want to pay 38 dollars for them though, maybe I will get to learn how to make my own one day haha

check it out though. I found this blog for photography to, I love her work!

http://blog.peekaboophotos.com/

Starts with Goodbye

2010-07-21T08:39:00.000-06:00

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna bring me down,
like falling when you're trying to fly,
It's sad but sometimes
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Start with goodbye,

So, I got some pretty interesting new yesterday that has effected me more than I thought it would.
Nate is getting married...we have only been divorced for 3 months now, not only that, but in 6 more days he and I would have been married for 2 years. I know I get to think about all the blessings that have come from this experience and press forward in life. I know it does no good to walk backwards in life- staring at what was and ignoring what is infront of me right now. I know I am better off with out him...the frustrating part is, I know all of this!!! So what is it that is holding me back and bringing the feelings of heartbreak back???
I guess its just a low blow...If he can get engaged 3 months after our divorce it shows the love I "thought" he had for me really wasnt deep at all. And since that is the case I know I deserve way more than what he would have ever given to me...
ONE DAY, I know things will all be ok and I will look back at this time and be greatful for the lessons learned. In the mean time...it hurts

Cool signatures

2010-07-20T10:55:00.000-06:00

I thought this was kinda fun, I found it on my friends blog. You can create your own signature for blogs or emails :) I always sign my name as EAsay so why not make it a really cool looking signature and use it online? :)
want the site? Just go here to make yours! :) http://www.mylivesignature.com/

I have an amazing family!!!!!!

2010-07-13T08:26:00.000-06:00

My mom brought Jordan, Oakley and Carter out to see me last weekend and we got to go to my work BBQ on Friday night where we ate yummy food and the kids got to play in a few bounce houses, get their faces painted and got balloon animals, well i guess they werent animals lol, carter got a balloon sword and oak got a balloon hat :) here are a few pics of that

as you can see they had a great time :)

Saturday we took them to Lagoon, I hadnt been in years, I cant really handle the rides as well as I did when I was little, but it was still fun non the less :)

Before they left Oakley and Carter made me a super cute porch painting haha Oak did the entire cast of Spongebob in front of my door, I loved it!

Carter was more excited about cleaning it up than he was to actually color, Ive never met a kid that loves to clean as much as he does, he constantly is asking me if he can do the dishes lol, he got mad at me cause i cleaned my house before he came cause he didnt have any dishes to wash haha

I love my oaks

her vampire teeth she HAD to have when we stopped at Cove Fort

oh ya, this is my newest hair color lol, I got sick of the black so Im gonna start going back to blonde.

I know this post was kinda long, but I hope you enjoyed it! I cant wait for this weekend, my sis and I are going back to Lagoon then out to see the fam. I am so sad the kids have to go home :( I wish we lived closer!!!!

On higher ground

2010-07-12T09:05:00.000-06:00

You can see much farther from the top of the mountain than you can from the lowest point in the valley. So raise your perspective, and climb that mountain. Raising your perspective will enable you to see many more possibilities. And you'll be able to move more effectively toward them.
When you're on the same level as your problems, those problems can seem overwhelming. Yet when you raise yourself just a little bit above those problems, the picture changes dramatically in your favor.
You may feel tempted to try and push the problems down to a lower level, but that will not work. The challenges and obstacles are what they are, and it does no good to pretend any differently.
A much more effective strategy is to accept the situation for what it is, and then to raise yourself above it. Visualize how you would think, how you would feel, and what you would do if you were at a higher level of awareness and effectiveness.
Then, live out that vision and think those thoughts, feel those feelings, take those actions. Rise above the challenges, and from the perspective of higher ground, move successfully beyond them.
-- Ralph Marston

I'll be your Angel

2010-07-09T10:30:00.000-06:00

Ok, you HAVE to check this out! :) Thank you so much Becky for letting me know about this amazing program!

I just signed up today, donated a few buck and have become a Soldiers Angel.

http://soldiersangels.org

From the moment I got on the site I knew this was something I get to do with my life. How many people are out there serving our country right now and getting no recogonition of any kind for all their hard work and dedication? I am sure there are more than just a few. I am so excited to take on this new comittment. I can be the difference in someones life when they deserve it the most...and SO CAN YOU! :)

Check it out! And if you know in your heart it is something you get to do with your life as well, DO IT!

Be the change you wish to see in the world!!! :)

With Love,

Erica

7 Secrets of Happy Couples

2010-07-08T11:53:00.000-06:00

I really enjoyed reading through this so I wanted to share it :)

Find your "Perfect Fit"

7 Secrets of Happy Couples
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, you will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.

My comittment for today is to work on including all of these things into all my relationships in my life :) I feel like there are some really great points in here that are absolutly perfect for making things work in life.

You gotta stand for something of you'll fall for anything

2010-07-07T11:14:00.000-06:00

Keeping things simple today- Take every chance, drop every fear!!! Done and Done! ;)

~~~Back to Life~~~*~

2010-07-06T13:37:00.001-06:00

So I had an amazing weekend in TX, it was so great to just get away and enjoy sleeping in, spending time with some of the coolest people ever! ;) Summer BBQ'n, Going out to dinner, taking a nice walk down the River Walk downtown, and ending a perfect weekend laying on the ground in a field watching amazing fireworks right above us :)- funny story with that, we were planning on going to the military base to see fireworks but so was everyone else in San Antonio so we decided to park in this field to see if we could watch them from there and as we were waiting all a sudden fireworks started going off about a block away from us! :) Turns out we were by a park so we got to be right there for those- the military base had their show start right after and turned out they were pretty far away so we just went back to the apartment. I was happy we got to be so close to them. I forgot my camera at that point though so that kinda sucked that i didnt get any pics. I actually didnt take that many pics at all...unfortunately I did get a couple of the night we went out to the River Walk so here they are,

This is the Alamo, we didnt go there, hadnt heard anything good about it anyway haha...so I just took a pic. I got a brand new camera and hadnt played around with the settings yet so some of the pics didnt work out

This one was on the RiverWalk, as we were going by a man that was working the gate told us to come on in there was only 5 mins of the show left so we went in and got to watch spanish dancers, a mariachi band (sp?) and had a yelling competition haha it was pretty fun. The seating is on one side of the river and the stage is on the other, at one point the dancer pulled someone out of the audience to dance with them and he was wearing a cowboy hat that fell into the river...oops haha.

You can kinda see the band on the bridge here

This is Trent and I watching the show

haha, I thought this was a pretty funny pic. He was turning around so he wasnt facing the camera as Z snapped the photo ;) Good work Zandra

This is Zandra and Grant they were soooo much fun! :) Cant wait till they are back in UT again! Time for camping!!!!!

I really didnt want to come back home after this weekend. But since I am back... its back to the crazy life again. Lots of work and school...ontop of that I get to find a new place to live since my lease is up this month..not sure what I am going to do yet or where to go.

I kinda slacked on my yoga this weekend dang it...but my commitment today is to get back into the swing of things so I did it this morning and get to do it again tonight! :)
I hope everyone had an awesome 4th of July weekend!
Have a fantastic day! :)

Cause Im Leavin On A Jet Plane...

2010-07-01T07:47:00.001-06:00

However I do know when I'll be back again ;) haha

I am heading out to San Antonio, TX today to spend the 4th of July weekend. :) I cant wait! :) Its going to be a blast!!! :D :D :D

I do get to make a commitment for the day though, so that comittment will be- GET ALL MY WORK DONE! haha....that might be a smart idea after all :P So I am going to do my best!

Hope everyone has an AMAZING 4th of July celebration, I will not be doing another post until I get back on Monday :) I did buy a new camera though so I will take as many pics as I can! :) watch out Texas...here I come ;) hehe

***LOVES!***

Fresh Thoughts

2010-06-30T08:06:00.001-06:00

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” - Anthony J. D’Angelo

Today my commitment is:
To reach out to at least 5 people I rarely (if ever) talk to and let them know I care about them :)

I AM Commited To....

2010-06-29T12:44:00.000-06:00

Well, first and foremost I am commited to get my blog back up and running- for anyone who is still interested in reading it. I have been doing alot of self evaluation lately and pondering upon things I'd like to change or improve. I have decided to write a blog each day (well Mon-Fri since I don't have internet at home) and with each post I am going to declare a commitment I am taking on in my life. There is an amazing song by John Legend Called "If You're Out There" the words are incredible it is part of my inspiration for change:

If you hear this message, wherever you stand
I'm calling every woman, calling every man
We're the generation
We can't afford to wait
The future started yesterday and we're already late

We've been looking for a song to sing
Searched for a melody
Searched for someone to lead
We've been looking for the world to change
If you feel the same
Then go on and say

If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now
Now, now

No more broken promises
No more call to war
Unless it's love and peace that we're really fighting for
We can destroy hunger
We can conquer hate
Put down the arms and raise your voice
We're joining hands today

Oh I was looking for a song to sing
I searched for a leader
But the leader was me
We were looking for the world to change
We can be heroes
Just go on and say

If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now
Now, now

Oh now, now

If you're ready we can shake the world
Believe again
It starts within
We don't have to wait for destiny
We should be the change that we want to see

If you're out there
Ooooh
If you're out there
And you're ready now
Say it loud
Scream it out

If you're out there
Sing along with me
If you're out there
I'm dying to believe that you're out there
Stand up and say it loud
If you're out there
Tomorrow's starting now

If you're out there
If you're out there
If you're out there

If you hear this message, wherever you stand
I'm calling every woman, calling every man
We're the generation
We can't afford to wait
The future started yesterday and we're already late

http://s0.ilike.com/play#John+Legend:If+You%27re+Out+There:102171236:s32090420.9653395.3789741.0.2.108%2Cstd_58ba9751481a4603a6c353e1775aaebd

I didn't make a post yesterday on here, instead I posted on Facebook that I am commited to pick up any trash I pass by so I can make a difference in this world by cleaning up Mother Earth. Each day I will make a new commitment and carry them out each day I live, I invite any and all of you to join. We dont have to wait for Destiny, WE CAN BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE!!!! :D Its that simple! Lets change the world one person, one day, one good deed at a time!

My Commitment for today is:
Eating Healthy.
And my commited action for the day was starting off with soy milk and cantelope for breakfast,
a Snack of Low Fat String Cheese and 1/2 cup unfrosted animal crackers (gotta have some kinda of treat) ;)
Herb rice and Butternut Squash for lunch with a cup of Strawberries and water to drink.
Haven't quiet got to dinner plans yet. But I am commited for it to be somethine healthy and delicious! :D

There have been some other things I've done before putting this idea into full force. I have commited to stop drinking soda and its been almost 2 weeks and I havent even had a craving for it!!! :D

And one of the most amazing changes I have made in my life starting last weekend is doing my Yoga and Meditation again this time- MORNING AND NIGHT! woo whoo go me ;) haha

it feels great making these changes in my life. NO MORE I CANT'S....from here on out its, YES I CAN! :D

School Daze... :D

2010-06-24T10:22:00.000-06:00

So, there has been alot of working and school going on lately in my life and not much else. But school has been great, we had a final the other day where we had to do a specific color application and cut- we could modify them however we wanted though as long as they followed the guide lines, here is the before and after pic of my model. Turned out pretty good- I was a little worried since the actual cut is not very attractive, I will post that pic as well so you can see what I mean.

Then the next day at school we had a photo shoot competition where we made up our own cuts and color application. I had a girl from my ward model for my group. Things went ok, I was a little upset with myself since I wasnt able to style her hair the way I wanted to with the lack of time :( I cant wait to get the professional shots though, the photographer would show us the pics as he took them so that was a great experience. here are the pics from my phone though.

We also had a CONTROL FORCE hair competition where you just use the AVEDA CONTROL FORCE hairspray to style hair in an "uplifting" manor lol. I did mine in a mo hawk and rocked it the rest of the day...good times :)

I deserve to do a lot more updating with this blog but I dont have internet at home :( I have a ton of pics from when my family came to visit me. We had 10 people in my tiny one bedroom apartment for 2 weeks haha...not everyone was in the apartment every day but still it was a bunch of sardines smashed into a can :P my lease is up soon though so now the search is on for somewhere to fit my fam when they come to visit. :)

So much to do and so little time...

2010-04-02T21:23:00.000-06:00

Life has been super crazy lately. I am now working a full time job from 7am - 4pm and once I am off I head straight to school :P I seriously never seem to have a min to myself. The past two weeks of work I havent even gotten a chance to eat because we've been so crazy busy. I am still absolutly LOVING school, it is a huge blessing in life! Im also absolutly LOVING my place. Its so nice to just come home to a house that looks the exact same way it did when I left. lol no suprise messes to clean up etc...
:)
I got a chance to go back to San Diego last weekend (after moving away 4 years ago and not returning)
I spent 5 days out there which honestly felt like maybe 3 total! :( I honestly did not want to come back AT ALL! I am such a cali girl at heart! The beach just becons me lol. I got to see Mike who was my absolute best friend and co worker (at game crazy lol...yes we were dorks and worked at a game store back in the day) haha it was always good times though, I got paid to play guitar hero all day long! Good times Good times! :D I definitely found out that time changes people alot. Which is neither good nor bad....just different.
I also got to see Nellie, Pauly and his wife Amber, and Jesse and his wife Amanda :) Nellie, Paul, and Jesse were all my LDS friends there. They also made the trek from SD to Sacramento with me when I moved- which in itself was a great story! lol A story that is still being told apparently haha :) Ashley can attest to what I am talking about since I moved in with her and we were all staying in Ashleys place while they were there :)

anyway, other than work and school, not much has changed, still taking each day a step at a time. I am really searching for a bed right now lol...Im so tired of sleeping on a twin mattress on the floor...8 months of it has been long enough! So if any of you know where I can get a good deal on a nice queen bed let me know ;)

I would really love to upload my pics from my SD vacation but of course they are not uploading...once again...maybe one day ill be able to blog with photos again :P lol
hope everyones doing well. Loves : D

Getting Back on Track :)

2010-03-14T17:23:00.000-06:00

So, its been a long time since Ive been into my blogging but I am committed to getting things back on track :) (if anyone still follows my blog that is) :P
ALOT has been happening lately. All good things though :) My school was bought out by Aveda a few months ago so we have been going through a huge transition with the remodel, new curriculum and so forth but it truly has been the biggest blessing in my life, for those of you who know what the Aveda line is, you will know they are ABSOLUTLY AMAZING! All their products are Earth friendly and made from natures gifts :) like berrys, sandal wood, even sap in their hair spray which I know sounds crazy but the hairspray is actually amazing, I love it and it holds without making your hair super stiff :) haha so far Im in love with every product I have used from them! :D
I also just moved into my very own apartment on Friday, so far I dont have much to fill it but I have some AMAZING friends that have been here to support me and have assisted me in collecting items needed for my house :) I have two absolutly amazing friends- Jef and Kimbra who have seriously given me soo much stuff! they are so wonderful! Jef came by yesterday with a bed, a dresser, a laundry basket (LOADED with odds and ends) 2 things of Tide laundry soap, paper towels, toilet paper, towels...seriously the list goes on! and today they made a visit and brought me a little card table since Jef noticed I didnt have any thing to sit on yesterday when he came by and Kimbra had grocery bags in her hands!!!! WOW, seriously! I am SOOOO BLESSED! This week my brothers bringing me out a couch and a table :) so it should be peiced together soon, at least good enough for me to have a house warmining party! :D
I have been doing Impact Trainings (http://www.impacttrainings.com/) since last Dec which has served me in my life so greatly. I am looking at and living my life so differently now and I am SOOOO happy :) There are a few different levels of the training and I have been through the first 2 and will be completing the 3rd this weekend! We are having a Celebration/Graduation on March 20th if any of you want to come just let me know! Its going to be a BLAST! My sister Tonya and my niece Jordan are coming to see me and attend my graduation this week, I cant wait to see them! i havent been taking too many pictures lately which I totally deserve to do more! I attempted to load some pics that I have collected over the few months but unfortunately they will not load, so that might get to be done another day. :P

MAS*H

2010-02-04T15:26:00.001-07:00

http://www.qdobacraftyourlife.com/

Ok so I dont even know where this place is but my bestest friend in the whole wide world posted this on her site today and i had so much fun playing i decided to pass it on for you to play as well.
Remember playing the game MASH in school back in the day!? hehe well go to the website and enter in your choices and see what kind of life MASH will plan out for you, I did it a few times, here is my last one :D

never mind the last part lol since it is a website for a coupon that part is just on there :D anyway enjoy!

Mini Photo Shoot

2010-01-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

On the way to Beckys first day of Impact I picked up her camera in her car and started taking a few pics of the girls riding in the back seat. I didnt get too many but heres what I created.

The models are the beautiful Avaya, Bentley, and Jordyn :)

and heres one of us girls at lunch :)

HAPPY NEW YEARS

2010-01-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

This new years is going to be FANTASTIC! Ive started it out the best way possible, spending time with the best friends anyone could ever ask for! New years eve was spent at our friends Justin and Hayleys where we played Dr Mario forever- which I discovered I REALY SUCK at haha but it was still good times, then Hayley challenged us to play the game upside down haha as if playing upright was too easy or something?! :P we layed on their otoman and had our heads hanging off it was so funny! Then we moved on to Guitar Hero- which is one of the best games ever invented! haha then we ROCKED that upside down as well!!!! Which was intense hahaha to end the night we put in the new Super Mario for the Wii which we ended up playing until 5am!!!! I couldnt believe we stayed up that late! We got home a around 530 went to bed just to wake up at 830 and discover we were going SNOWBOARDING! :D

So we all got up and got ready and headed out to play! We were only there for a few hours but it was THE BEST time Ive ever had snowboarding. Kyle (Ambers brother in law) gave me lessons on how to go down toeside (backwards on my toes!) down the mountain! It was pretty scary at first but I got pretty good at it! I had a BLAST!

Saturday night we went back to Justin and Hayleys to watch the UFC FIGHTS which were SO GOOD! Then....we HAD to put in Super Mario again! haha which we MAY HAVE played until 5am again! But we were so determined to beat the game! Which we totally did only to discover there is a hidden level that we still get to BEAT! Not sure when we get to do that but I hope its SOON! ;)

Here are a few pics from the new year! Enjoy!

One of the best games EVER!Amber got totaly stuck in the snow when she took off her board!Ambie and I on the lift :)Kyle and I standing in front of an AMAZING viewTHE BESTEST FRIENDS EVER!!!Future snowboarder AvayaCrazy Kyle doing a freakin hand stand with his board strapped to his feet, I have NO CLUE how the heck he managed to do this! haha

Update

2009-12-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

I havent been doing to well at bloging lately, too many things goin on and not enough time to just sit down and type I guess.

But this Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, it honestly didnt feel like Thanksgiving really since I didnt get to help out making any of the food...(which was super wierd! i love cooking!) but my niece and a couple friends and I did the black friday shopping, I thought my niece Jordan was going to get into a fist fight w the wal mart lady lol which didnt end up being necessary since the guy standing guard by the camera I wanted (ps yes I FINALLY got a camera! now I can start recording all the fun adventures Im having in photo form only I cant seem to find any of the million SD cards I once owned) :S anyway back to the story :P

the guy standing next to the cameras told my niece that she didnt have to worry about standing in the huge line- since we got there before anyone pretty much and it wasnt until about an hour later when the lady told us we were supposed to be lined up on the other side- even though the cameras were on both sides....anyway. the guy said he would help her out and actualy handed her the very first one- which by the way the awnry old wal mart lady came over chasing Jordan down telling her she couldnt take the camera yet because it wasnt time lol even though by this time the workers had handed out about a dozen of them... I think she was having a really bad night haha...but we did make it out of there with my super sweet new touch screen camera that I absolutly love and cant wait to play with!!! :D

we checked out best buy after that - actualy had to stand out in the freakin freezing cold for a little while before we made it in - didnt find anything good there but I did however just happen to run into my most favorite bestest friend in the whole wide world! which made me SUPER HAPPY! I love her and freakin miss her INSANELY!!!!
I also ran into some old friends whom I hadnt seen in ages, so that was pretty cool.

I got to hang out with one of my old friends from back in the day, Kim who I honestly hadnt seen or even heard from in like 5-6 years... or something like that. It was a blast being with her! It was like no time had passed lol she is still the same ole Kim- which by the way has had the same hair cut for over 10 years so now that I am a hair stylist you know I am working my magic on her trying to convince her to step into the unknown and amazing world of hair ;) hahaha

other than that my trip to St George was spent hanging out with my amazing family and doing a few hair cuts/ colors which turned out awesome :)

Im seriously having such a blast in hair school! I absolutly LOVE what I do and I love learning more about it everyday! Tonight I did an awesome pixie hair cut (which are totally my favorite!)

The divorce stuff is really dont going so well things are kind of up in the air right now so I honestly do not even know whats going on. I just really want it to be over- sucks so bad to be going through it durring the holidays, but oh well. There are obviously huge lessons for me to be learning right now and I am trying my best to do so.

I didnt get pics from St George sadly :( but here are some fun hair pics Ive done lately. Enjoy!

Home for the Holidays

2009-11-26T12:09:00.000-07:00

Im so happy to be home for the holidays this year, i dont have my own camera but im going to try my best to get everyone else to snap pics! :D

this is a short post but i just wanted to say happy thanksgiving to everyone! i am so grateful for the blessings i have in my life, my friends and family are the best and i could not ask for more :)

So.. Ive realized something..

2009-11-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

I REALLY need a camera to capture all the great moments I am having here!
I had such a great weekend, it was a perfect reminder that I am doing the things that I need to be doing in my life right now and that is -HAVE FUN!
This is my time to live, its my time to heal, and its my time to jump without looking and trusting that I will be caught!
Friday was an amazing adventure! I got to go caving with a group of people my friend knew, we went to the Nutty Puddy caves which are seriously incredible, you cant make it out of there w out being completly covered in mud and dirt! But it was the BEST! I dont think I have had such an adventurous night in my whole life, the caves were full of tiny holes to squeeze yourself into, slippery rocks w no foot holds that would take all your arm strength to get you out, sweet slides to go down head first, rocks that made music when you hit them, seriously had everything you could imagine and more down there! For part of the way back we turned our flashlights off to make it more challenging! :D I seriously cant wait to go back! Once we got outside we played a sweet game of hacki sac with a burning coal from the fire, roasted marshmellos, took a run up a big mountain to see the view- we sat there and waited for a coyote or something to come out and chase us but that didnt happen :( haha

a few of the guys took off their shoes and walked over the burning coals left from the fire...i sadly didnt try that- which im regreting now- shouldve just gone for it ;) hahaha

the caves were in the middle of no where so we had to off road to get there and get back and both the trips in the jeep were awesome! I love off roading. here is a map of the caves :D

I dont know if I have ever been as sore as i was the next day and day after that though. Guess I better work on getting into shape! (i say this as i take another drink of my soda...ooops) :P hah

saturday was a chill day and yesterday was one of the best sundays i have had in a long time. I was kind of scared about going to a family ward by myself but they seriously are like a huge family and the bishop is simply an amazing guy! Im so lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing people that keep helping me get through everything. I also recieved a calling yesterday which I am full heartedly looking forward to!

Im so tired today but I get to go help a girl move out of her place, then help another lady from my ward who's on bed rest, then go to school...not sure if Im gonna make it through the night w out some major caffeeine or something...wish me luck :P

not going to lie...this sucks!

2009-11-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

Things are pretty hard for me right now. I just wish things with Nate and I could be more simple. How do you treat someone who you were supposedly completly in love with with such disrespect and hate? I keep feeling like such a fool to be so in love with a man that could obviously care less about me. I wasnt even ready to give up 100% when I left- I thought of it more as a wake up call for him to realize what he was losing. I guess there is a part of me thats a hopeless romantic that thought maybe- just maybe- he would fight for me. That he would do everything and anything he could to save our marriage.
He didnt even wait 2 weeks before making the decision to file for divorce...a whole week and a half was enough time for him to realize he was done. Ouch is all I have to say to that.
Im not trying to have a pity party, this just sucks. I know I deserve so much better than this. But no matter whats been said or done he is still my husband, I chose him out of everyone to be my spouse, I chose him to be the one Id wake up to every morning and to fall asleep next to every night. I chose him to be the Father of my children, I chose HIM to be the one to complete me. I miss him. But I dont like this man he has become, I miss the man I fell in love with, I miss the butterflies and excitement Id get from his touch, I miss the man who said he would do anything for me, the man who said I was the only thing that made him happy. I miss all of that.
Ive got so many things that need to be done now and I am scared to death, I do not want to fight him in court, I dont want to be mean, I just want this to be done so I can move on since he is obviously moving on and away from me. I wish I could talk to him. Or see him, something. Even though I know- he is not the same person at all. The last time I got to hear his voice it didnt even sound like him. There was so much anger in his tone- ugh.
I dont want to ask "why me" because I know there is a perfect reason for everything that comes our way. I just wish this could be easier.
But one thing is for sure, I could not have greater people surrounding me, I love all my friends and family who have been here for me. Thank you all of you for everything.

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

2009-10-30T11:30:00.000-06:00

"Life is a sea upon which the proud are humbled, the shirker is exposed, and the leader is revealed. To sail it safely and reach your desired port, you need to keep your charts at hand and up-to-date. You need to learn by the experience of others, to stand firm for principles, to broaden your interests, to be understanding of the rights of others to sail the same sea, and to be reliable in the discharge of your duty."

--President Thomas S. Monson, "Great Expectations", CES Firesides for Young Adults

If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it. ~Toni Morrison

so all of these quotes were put on here as a reminder to me that no matter what trials come our way, there is a way out and things will one day be far beyond what i could ever imagine.
i was served with my divorce papers from Nate yesterday and needless to say- they were absolutly ridiculous! the things he said in them are far beyond ludacrious! all i could do was laugh at them when i first started reading but later on in the day it stated to sink in that instead of him choosing the easy way out of this, he has started a battle. I am fearful for whats to come but I am trying to keep my head up and not let him bring me down, i hate that someone i loved completly can show no compassion or any ounce of love for me. I stood by him time and time again when all he did was push me away. i gave and gave and gave even when getting nothing in return. Not only that but when i left i left him with everything, all he had to do was sign for irreconsilable difference and be done with it, but no. instead he chose to lie. i realize though its not worth me caring what he says about me because i know the truth and one day he will be judge by the highest power of all and he will be the one to pay the consiquences of his actions.
This is basicly a venting post- i honestly just cant believe what this has turned into. all i can say is please pray for me, i really need help and strength right now, i feel so lucky to have the friends and family here by my side, they have all been so great i am so thankful for all they do for me.

The Time Has Come

2009-10-06T23:12:00.000-06:00

Once again the year is coming to a close, the summer sun has now been hiden behind the grey clouds and cold wind, the leaves are changing colors and its time again for me to change my hair. haha ya I know that happens more than the changing of the seasons, but with the fall colors all around me, I was wanting a little bit of color splash for myself. So today Amber added some brown copper, sangria red and more blonde into my hair and it couldnt have turned out better, I seriously love it so much! I love having such an amazing best friend! Im also having sooo much fun at hair school! Im learning so much and having a blast doing so! I cant believe how much my life has changed in just a few short weeks, but its all for the better. Each day I take things a step at a time and each day has its own challenges, BUT I know with each step I take, I climb a little higher and soon I can look down at the mountain Ive climbed and realize Ive made it all the way to the top!
:D

anyway, here are some pics of my new do!

Happy Harvest Season to Everyone!

Dreams Come True Update!

2009-09-22T22:35:00.000-06:00

So FANTASTIC news! I ended up getting into hair school!!!! I got to start last night! It seriously has been so amazing and Ive had sooo much fun! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!
Life is seriously so amazing! I feel like I am so blessed and even though I am still dealing with some issues, I know this too shall pass and when all the rain clears my rainbow will be shinning BRIGHTLY :D
The important thing right now is I LOVE MY LIFE! :D

Dreams Really Do Come TRUE!

2009-09-19T01:41:00.000-06:00

Going to Hair School has been one of my biggest dreams since I was in High School...maybe even Jr High.

I just never thought I would be able to go.

Now that I am here, I decided I am going to try to do all the things I WANT to :)

No holding myself back, no doubting myself, just jump and wait for the net to catch me.

Luckily I have amazing friends and family that keep reminding me making myself happy is what matters the most. I have always put others before myself, which isnt really a bad thing, but when you are never taking time for yourself...it can take its toll.

I also feel so blessed to have a place to live now! I started getting all my stuff settled in tonight, I bought new bedding (Totally girly lol I Love it!) and a bright pink body pillow to snuggle up to at night in my twin sized bed..haha wierd..but I will get used to it.

When I was filling out the application for Dallas Roberts I was able to talk to the lady in charge of the financial aid and so forth, she helped me get my fasfa filled out and I am eligable for 3500 dollars in grants, but she thinks we can get me more than that so Monday I am going back to get things all figured out.

Honestly I cant even explain how blessed I feel. Ever since I got into town, I feel so much peace and I am actually happy! I spent the day with Becky and her two babies, we had so much fun just shopping around (well I know I had fun, haha her two girls were running away from us anywhere we went so Im not so sure she had that much fun) but we got to eat lunch w Amber and Cheryl at Chilli's yummm. :D hit up happy hour at Sonic . . . all in all it was a great day!
I love having this new found confindence in myself! I now know that no matter what trials we go through, we DO have the choice to make it as easy as we can, or make it harder than ever. As for me... I chose the easy way! :D

Blessings through trials.

2009-09-17T19:09:00.000-06:00

So first of all, not only do I have a whole new perspective on my life now, I am learning to LOVE everything around me, I am appriciating the flowers, trees, sky...I am seeing beauty in everything. Learning there are lessons for every step we make in our lives. What dont kill us really will make us stronger.
I feel so blessed ever since I was driving through the canyons yesterday I have felt something so strong, I finally feel like I am HOME :D and today I was given an amazing blessing! I was able to find a place to live! I havent even been here a whole 24 hours and I already have a place to live! :) Its super cute to and I am looking forward to the girls nights with my roommies :) Not only that but it is SUPER close to Dallas Roberts Hair School. Its been a dream of mine to go to hair school since I was a teenager! One of my best friends is going there right now too so I made up my mind and I am finally going to do it! I am finally going to make my dreams become a reality! I cant wait to see what else is to come my way. Although I know this is going to be one of the most trying times I may ever have to go through, I also know that the Lord will ALWAYS be by my side. He will ALWAYS love me and I will FOREVER be gratefull for Him and all He does!

Time for ME

2009-09-17T10:14:00.002-06:00

Alot of things have happened to me lately and I am going through some life changing events. I made this blog to help me get my life on the right track. For those of you who have been here for me through each step, thank you, and for anyone who is willing to stick by me from this time on...Thank you!
I know in my heart I have done what is right for me. I know that things will not be easy, but I also know they wil be worth it.

All my love
Erica